As a mom, the question of whether we are doing a good job plagues us pretty much daily.  Whether you are in the thick of it in the infant years and running on limited sleep and massive doses of caffeine or learning to navigate the waters of the teenage years, every one of us has crawled into bed at the end of the day and pondered what we could have done differently that day.  Was I too strict or too lenient?  Did I overreact when my child was trying to be open and honest with me about something?  Do I push too much for them to be perfect students, athletes and friends to others?

Well, the good news is that we are not alone and we all get to go to bed, wake up and start all over again.  The question of what it takes to be a good mom has become heightened these days with social media where we can compare how great our kids are in comparison to one another.  Don’t get me wrong, we all do it but it can make us question ourselves even more when we see someone’s perfect child compared to ours.  But social media can also provide a support group that we never thought we would have.  As I sit and watch Instagram Stories, I can appreciate the funny videos and cute stories but also feel able to relate to vulnerable moms talking about a struggle they are encountering.  I watched a video today about a mom talking about her 2 year old son’s hitting phase and trust me, I remember that very difficult stage with my own son and thinking I had somehow failed as a mom.

It’s so important for us to know that none of us are perfect and neither are our kids but we love them more than life itself and would do anything for them, which is why we are so critical of ourselves and them at times.  We need to know that it’s okay to reach out and ask for help or lean on friends or family at times.  If we don’t, we can tailspin into a sea of doubt and become the kind of mom we never wanted to be.  These days, sometimes fighting over the little things with my kids can be so exhausting and frustrating but in the end, I know that I am just protecting and looking out for them.  I have a ritual that even if we have had a rough night, I have to tuck them in at night and remind them that I love them.  They know I’m far from perfect but I hope they know that I love them unconditionally.

Let’s all give ourselves a break and acknowledge that being a mom is hard but being a good mom means so much more than perfection.  It means there is a love for your child that takes precedence over your own life.  Next time you see that mom at the grocery store who is hanging on by a thread, say a little prayer for her because she’s just trying to get through a tough day and let’s face it, we have all been there.  Let’s lift each other up and know that we are amazing and just doing the best job we can.