Happy 2020 Friends! Although it is already the 6th, this is my first blog post of the new year so I thought I would start it off with the theme for the next year. If you follow me on Instagram, I talked a little bit about this already but wanted to expand on it further and explain why I chose the word “Peace”.
First, this exercise started when I saw a post asking everyone to select one word that would encapsulate their year in 2020. As I reflected, I was struck by the word Peace. In a house with two teens, it is an odd combination of strangely peaceful times when everyone is in their rooms doing homework or having some screen time or highly charged times when hormones are kicking in and things are off balance. There are also some great conversations and lots of laughter in between but a roller coaster it definitely is!
When I reflect back on 2019 and really my whole life, one thing rings true for me and that is I am a natural worrier about everything. I have faith that God will provide and take care of us but it’s something inside me that causes me to continue to worry or stress about things that I really don’t need to. I know I’m not alone as a mom in wanting the best for my kids. I want them to be happy and fulfilled and do the things they love while being as successful as they can. Both of my kids are smart and talented in different ways, so I am always pushing them to be the best they can so they can ultimately have the life they desire.
At times, you can imagine that pushing a teenager can backfire quickly. While some of that is normal, I also have to recognize that while I put a lot of pressure and worry on them, I’m not the only one. I remember my teenage years being hard but they seem so much harder these days. Social media and the pressure to be the absolute best at everything they do can be overwhelming and just downright debilitating in some cases. While I know my role as a mom is to watch over them and ensure they are going down the right path, I also know at this stage, I need to start finding peace with the fact that in a few years, their direction in life won’t be up to me.
When I look at other aspects of my life, I know that I have always had a balance issue as both a mom and a career woman. I also know realistically that there is never a perfect balance between the two but I also have to come to terms and be at peace with both. When work is more demanding and requires more of my attention, I need to be at peace with that but cognizant of my home life too. Conversely, I need to find peace in the fact that I can not let work control my life this year. As I look ahead to all of the changes that will be happening, yes, I would love to look back at the end of the year and say my career has been successful but do I want that at the expense of my family? Absolutely not!
I worry about everything in life. Am I being good to my marriage and my husband? Am I being a good mom? Am I being a faithful Christian? Am I being a good friend to those I love and value the most? Am I doing a good enough job at work? Do we have everything we need or should we make lifestyle changes?
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a chronic issue or anything overwhelmingly serious but I do know that I carry this stress and anxiety around with me until I reach those moments where it all comes pouring out in some form or another. This year, I don’t want to reach that point. I want to take one day at a time and find peace with all aspects of my life, as much as I can.
2020 will bring so many changes and I want to experience all of them from the best place in my heart. If you haven’t taken the time to reflect on your word for 2020, I strongly encourage you to. It not only sets the tone to start the year but as time progresses and the New Year resolutions fade away, it’s what you can lean into and remember when life starts getting out of control. Praying everyone has a great week getting back to the routine!